Loving the Idea of Someone Else Loving You - The Truth of New Years Resolutions

Alllllrighty. It is a New Year. It's February and I'm still seeing the "March will be the month I get my crap together for 2022." But like - Let's talk about it..

Now, this isn't just New Years related or Fitness related, this goes for the daily acts you do, too - even unknowingly. "Maybe if I over exhaust myself to do this - They'll be more appreciative." -- Guess what, it won't work. And, they won't.

So why do we feel the need to change? Lots of us are very good about it - Dieting when you feel like you need to because it's going to make you less bloated and ultimately heighten your health, cleaning up around your house more because it's going to make you able to focus throughout the week, making it a priority to spend time with your children, your family, or your loved ones. BUT - there's also a lot of us who use the "Oh - well I'm gonna to the gym 4x a week," or "Oh - well I'm gonna bust my hiney to get this promotion and show that I'm a slave to the corporation I work for so they like me," or "I'm gonna make him 4 meals a day, clean the house, maintain my appearance and to the laundry - Because, that's what would make him enjoy me.." This one goes out to y'all. You can swear to me up and down - Oh well, it's gonna make me feel better. Why? Financial gain? Your façade? Social Media? Just a bunch of temporary stuff. The idea of someone loving the idea of you consumes a bunch of us - whether we admit it or not. Social Media. Your family. Your partner. You. You're not going to the gym so often because you want to go sweat and hurt for days on end (Maybe you are) but most likely - you're not. This goes for women too - I promise you, that one gym selfie a week, is not worth the time and energy it took to get yourself from work, to home to change, to go all the way to that gym just to stand in that mirror. Walking those stairs for two hours isn't going to give you Kim's body and I promise you that Mr. Cowboy doesn't care that much either. Point being, why aren't we doing things for ourselves? Why don't you make each and every day a habitual schedule in order to do the things that benefit you? Doing yoga in the morning with your phone off? Brushing your teeth twice a day instead of once? Cleaning the countertops at the end of the night and lighting candles in your room to read a book? Why don't we just do the little things rather than exhaust ourselves to do the big stuff that won't even go noticed by other people? We work, we slave, we exhaust and use our time and energy towards other people who aren't even going to blink at us? I remember back when I worked for a company and got on my hands and knees to sit there and clean my entire allotted space and my boss didn't say anything to me, no co-workers, I got really upset over it - to the point where my brother reached out to me, and you know what he said?

That's not her job. Why are you doing things solely to get a pat on the back from someone else? You can't do that yourself?

And, there's nothing I was able to say back. My own expectations got in the way of appreciating the work I had done myself. I was so focused on my bosses reaction and waiting for her to say something instead of patting myself of the back and noticing the way I felt now that my space was finally clean.

Moral of the Story: Do it because you want to do it, not because there's something you expect to gain from someone else.

As Always,

Thanks for Coming to the Ted Talk. Alexis Penhorwood | Building Blocks | 02.05.2022