Unfathomable

i lay on your side of the bed,

with thoughts on the mess i might’ve made,

permanent ink stains engraved on my face,

i’ve done this time and time again but i’m left wondering the exact time that the thoughts of me could’ve been replaced.

and if only i could change,

if i could find my way,

i wouldn’t see these days being so vague.

it’s a catapult collision left running through my brain,

replaying the ways in which i might’ve been too afraid,

too much

too late

times ticking but my brain remains in this place,

and it won’t change anything,

it won’t right the wrongs done to me,

and until i find acceptance,

my place will remain.

i lay on your side of the bed, with the thoughts of the mess i might’ve made.

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building blocks | alexis penhorwood | 07.26.22